It's the time of the year again~blues

It's that time of the year again whereby a new year is dawning on us. Some will feel very excited about welcoming 2010 while others will feel a little bit insecured, a little pity that 2009 is leaving, a little bit scared about the impeding new year.

Actually for me 2010 comes too fast in my opinion. You see, people like me make a list of New Year Resolutions and during the New Year 2009 I've made up a list of 10 things that I must do in 2009. Minor things and big things altogether and taking out that list today, I realised I've only fulfiled 4 of them! In fact I'm a bit panicky this morning when I looked at my list, I leave it to 4 days before 2010 to fulfil another 6 resolutions? Oh my God it is going to be a rush!

Things done so far:-

1. Fix my creaking bed, haha it is due fixing for 1 year now ~ Done in March 2009 took me 2 1/2 hours!
2. Calm down a little, be a cool head ~ Avoided unnecessary confrontation twice this year and thus avoiding the possibilities in getting into fights or arguements - Used to be a hot headed crazy maniac
3. Maintain good friendship with YSA ~ No probs, still my best friend even though he is 400 miles away
4. Get my toe done ~ Seek treatment already but still is producing crackling sound - very annoying!

Looking at the DONE list, I've actually done very little during 2009. In fact I think I'm the underachiever of the year! I'm a very busy man, but where did I spend all of my hours? I did a lot of soul searching and the conclusion is that I've wasted a lot of time playing games, watching listless tv shows, reading and re-reading automotive magazines, over-sleeping and much more. It is a failure, 2009 is a big failure for myself. Add in the fact the economy crisis, there is no pay increment for 2009 and the bonus, well the bonus is shitty! So my 2009 ended in a failure and I can no longer look back at 2009 as something that I've done positively.
I became a bit more lazy, I became nonchalant at work(for some period), I became inactive in sports, I became less socialable, I stay home more and see my parents less, I became a bit narrow minded and I failed to fulfil the 10 goals I've set myself to.

Actually I'm very deflated this morning knowing my failings. After a brief conversation with my mum I felt better. She told me it is ok that I go home less, as long as I still love them they will know. She told me that life is like this and we need to be positive about everything. She also assure me that things will be better in 2010 and I should look forward to it as a new year. Here I am, being an infillial son but my mum doesn't even care and she love me still!

An Angel to Light your way for 2010~

End of year is a time whereby everyone should do a reflection on themselves. See if they've done anything good or bad that particular year. It is also a time to forgive and seek forgiveness. If you've been bad and missed out on seeing your parents, make it a habit in 2010 to see them more often. They're not going to be here forever so appreciate them while you still can. If you've been negative this year, try to be more positive next year. If you have been lazy then try to be more hardworking.

An Angel to show you the correct path during difficult times in 2010

Every year end I do a self-reflection. I find many faults and I try to change many things. In this world as we grow older, the grey zone grows bigger. So no matter how you improve there is still place for a growth. So as a good human being, I'll strive to be better, stronger and more positive for 2010!

A gift from the Gift Exchange Party, boy God knows I need an Angel for 2010~

My 2010 New Year Resolutions has grows to 16, and I have 365 to achieve them all!
Happy Holiday to everyone and if you haven't seek forgiveness for 2009, do so, you'll feel better!
And if you want to improve yourself, make a list of Resolutions, even minor minor thing...things that has been in your closet for way way too long~

Merry Christmast(belated) and a Happy 2010!
Mum & Dad; I love you~